An instant cure for insomnia??

Spare a thought for poor Green TD Ciaran Cuffe - he certainly has a lot on his plate, 1,597 pages to be precise!

Writing on his blog about how swamped he is at present, he said report are ‘coming out my ears and starting to take over the desk’.

He tells us he has 136 pages of NAMA, 388 pages of the Lisbon Treaty, 397 pages of the McCarthy ‘Bord Snip Nua’ Report and 551 pages of the Commission on Taxation.

And don’t forget the 125 pages from the 1973 Kenny Report which has become required reading for TDs in the current crisis.

Yes Ciaran, that is A LOT of reading - and also an instant cure for insomnia!

Man-NAMA-na.............

The band of brothers behind ‘There’s No-one as Irish as Barack Obama’ are back - and this time they have NAMA in their sights!

The Corrigan Brothers from Co Tipperary have released a new ditty entitled The Nama Song, sung to the tune of ‘Games People Play’.

Needless to say, Brian Cowen and Brian Lenihan come in for a bit of a pasting in the song - the video of which can now be seen on YouTube.

No private jets for David Miliband!

British Foreign Secretary David Miliband put the Irish Cabinet to shame this week - by flying into Dublin for a formal meeting with his Irish counterpart on a scheduled commercial flight.

Miliband, tipped to succeed Gordon Brown as leader of the British Labour Party, was in Dublin on Wednesday for meetings with his Irish counterpart, Foreign Affairs Minister Micheal Martin.

But instead of flying over on a private, military or Government jet, Miliband joined the general commuters on a scheduled BMI flight from London.

This isn’t the first time that a British politician has ignored the trappings of power by using commercial airlines to fly.

In 2006, former Prime Minister Tony Blair used a Ryanair flight to travel on holidays to Italy with his family.

Meanwhile, a mix up on board the flight to Dublin yesterday resulted in David Miliband arriving into Leinster House wearing a complete stranger’s jacket!

“There aren’t many British Foreign Secretaries that have come to this House (Leinster House_ and say they want to say very clearly and loudly through the Irish press – Thank you Mr Collins,” Mr Miliband said.


“I need to say ‘thank you Mr Collins’ because as I got off the BMI flight, I got off with someone’s jacket and someone else had my jacket. So I arrived at this building (Leinster House) earlier today with a jacket that didn’t match my trousers,” he added.

“During the meetings I was having, my own jacket was returned. The amusing thing was when I reached into the jacket that I’d been given and pulled out the ticket, it was in the name of a Mr Collins.”

“So it was a rather amusing post-script,” Miliband said.

He had a series of meetings with Minister Martin, the Foreign Affairs Committee and opposition party leaders.

While a wide range of issues were discussed, the forthcoming Lisbon 2 referendum was the main topic of discussion.

“The eyes of Europe will be on Ireland in October. The Lisbon Treaty is good for Europe and you will have to decide if it is good for Ireland.”

He said if the Irish electorate reject Lisbon for a second time, the entire European political system reverts back to the Nice Treaty – which means that the number of Commissioners would be reduced.

With Lisbon, he said, Ireland would be guaranteed a Commissioner. Without Lisbon, there is no such guarantee.

“If we do not have the Lisbon Treaty, we will return to the institutional wrangling which has been the enemy of European progress over the last number of years,” he said.

When asked if, in the future, his next meeting with Micheal Martin would be as heads of state of their respective countries, both Mr Miliband and Minister Martin laughed.

“I have great admiration for Micheal Martin. But if you start thinking of other people’s jobs, you are not focusing on your own job,” he said.

Pearse sets his sights on a seat

It seems that Sinn Fein is fully loaded and ready to fight - for the next by-election at least.

We have hardly had a chance to breathe since the last two by-elections in Dublin Central and Dublin South, and now the Shinners are anxious to strike while the anti-government sentiment is right in Donegal.

Because Pat ‘The Cope’ Gallagher was elected to the European Parliament last month, his departure to the tasty gravy train of
Brussels politics leaves a vacancy for a new TD to replace him in Donegal South West.

Taoiseach Brian Cowen knows that this by-election is looming in the future but the odds are that he will put it to the back of his mind for as long as is humanly possible.

So back to Sinn Fein - the party’s dapper Senator Pearse Doherty is gagging at the bit for a run at a seat which he could easily win if the by-election were to be held sooner than later.

Yesterday (WED), the party’s Dail leader Caoimhghin O Caolain published a motion on the Dail Order Paper on behalf of the Sinn Fein TDs calling for the writ to be moved for the holding of the by-election in Donegal South West.

Doherty is a good performer within the Seanad and is a man with his sights set as a career politician.

He ran for Sinn Fein in the 2007 general election and polled exceptionally well - however the final seat escaped him despite his healthy vote.

With anti-Government sentiment still boiling over following the local elections, the time could be right for Doherty to win the seat in a by-election.

Young FF-ers kick off the summer

The summer is here and our politicians are this week are preparing for their exodus from the national stage for their holliers.

But there is no such slacking within the ranks of Ogra Fianna Fail - the organisation is preparing for its first ever Summer School which will be held this weekend.

The ‘official policy conference’ will be held in the City Hoel in Derry on July 4 and Ogra has even threatened that there will be
appearances from senior political figures from across the island.

So just who are these ‘senior political figures’ who are giving up their weekend to help out the youth wing of the party?

There will be Eamon O Cuiv, Dara Calleary and Margaret Conlon - none of whom could realistically be considered ‘senior political figues’.

The only ‘senior political figure’ of any note who is penciled in to attend is the leader of the SDLP Mark Durkan.

Must try harder, me thinks!

Fine Gael really is Newborn!!

It is no wonder that Fine Gael support has been rising consistently over the past while - it is all down to newborn members, quite literally.

There is a bit of a baby boom going on within the ranks of the party of late with not one, not two, not three, not four - but five baby announcements within the party.

First off, congratulations to the Dail’s only married couple - Fine Gael’s Olywn Enright and her hubbie Deputy Joe McHugh - who are expecting their first bundle of joy at the end of October.

Then there is Meath TD Damien English, who’s wife Laura is expecting the couple’s first child in October.

It will be a September date for Denis Naughten and his wife Mary when they welcome baby number three into the world.

Already getting used to the night feeds and the nappies are Fine Gael’s Joe Carey and his wife Grace, who’s newborn daughter Alma May is the apple of their eyes.

Joe can compare notes with his party colleague Simon Coveney who also recently became a daddy when his wife Ruth gave birth to baby Beth.

Congrats to all - at this rate we can already see the new political dynasties forming!

Jolly Green Junior Minister

Minister for Vegetables Trevor Sargent is at it again.

And this time he reckons he has solved the mystery that has baffled parents for generations - how to get their kids to eat their greens!

The Jolly Green Junior Minister believes that if kids are encouraged to grow their own vegetables, they will be more inclined to eat their own vegetables.

Be careful what you wish for Trevor - the Greens are almost a protected species at this stage!

Snip Snip

Some weeks ago, this column praised the work of the contributors to the political website politics.ie for their light-hearted look at political anagrams.

And with An Bord Snip Nua so much in the news this week - here is another one for you!

An Bord Snip Nua is an anagram for ‘Darn Pain Bonus’ or even ‘Ads Pain Unborn’!!!

Norris's brothel tales grip Seanad!

Long live the great Senator David Norris for yet again injecting colour, humour and above all, humanity into what can be an incredibly dull Seanad.

During a recent Seanad motion on human trafficking and prostitution, Senator Norris was his usual colourful, vociferous self as he regaled fellow Senators about his close encounter with a brothel.

“For a number of years, there was a brothel in the basement next to me in North Great George’s Street,” he told an eager Seanad.

“On one occasion when the woman was being beaten up, I was obliged to intervene and I protected her. I did not avail of her services but it was quite a moving experience because I encountered her as a human being and realised what was going on in that place.”

“On a Saturday evening, I often swept my step and I saw many people coming from there, some of whom were quite familiar names in Irish public life.”

“While they got a hell of a shock on seeing me, I never have disclosed a single name and never would.”

“These were professional people, some of whom were in religious professions,” he said, whetting the curiosity of many.

And he was similarly vociferous about proposals to follow the lead of Sweden, Norway and Iceland by criminalising the purchase of sex so as to target the demand for the sex exploitation industry.

“Members who have a slightly more sophisticated view of history will remember that among other things, Sweden supplied Hitler with ball bearings during the Second World War and has a serious problem with right-wing hooliganism.”

“Simply because something happens in Sweden does not mean one should automatically gollop it down uncritically,” he said.

Enda and Elvis - never the twain shall meet!

Only a few more Dail sitting days to go and holidays will be at the forefront of most TDs minds.

Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny was interviewed recently in a so-called ‘quality broadsheet’ about his dream holiday – if money or work were no restriction.

His dream holiday consists of riding a Harley-Davidson from New York across the US.

“I’d love to do that with the wind in my face, the sun on my back, wherever freedom takes you,” he said.

If his dreams come true, lets hope he has a better holiday than his trip to Wales with some pals 30 years ago.

“In 1979, myself and a few mates went to Wales camping. It teemed out of the heavens from the beginning to end, and in the middle of it all, Elvis died,” he said.

Eh Enda, Elvis actually went to the great burger joint in the sky in 1977!!

And the award goes to.....

The Common Sense Award of the week goes to Fianna Fail’s Limerick TD Niall Collins, who has called for a referendum to be held on the thorny issue of judges salaries.

This follows the controversy that only 19 judges have so far agreed to make voluntary contributions in lieu of the pension levy.

Our Constitution states that the remuneration of a judge cannot be reduced while they are in office. So that got Niall thinking.

“This group of elite untouchables should be subjected to the regular procedures administering the pay of higher civil servants,” he said.

“In the modern day, being protected by the Constitution is simply not good enough given that many thousands of people and their families are suffering falling incomes and job losses.”

“I feel with the forthcoming Lisbon 2 referendum, we have an early opportunity to address this issue through a vote of the people. Many of the working practices of the courts and the judiciary need modernising and this is now an opportune time for that,” he said.

Should they stay or should they go?

Green Party Deputy Ciaran Cuffe has said the Greens should walk from Government – unless there is a greater delivery of his party’s policies.

The local elections may seen like a distant memory to many but around the corridors of power of Leinster House, politicos are trying to make sense of the slaughter on June 5.

None more so than that Green Party, which has become an almost extinct breed in local Government – especially in the capital.

Deputy Cuffe has been doing a fair bit of soul searching on his blog, acknowledging that it was a ‘rough’ result for the Greens and saying how it ‘hurt’ to be hit so hard within the Pale.

“We could walk away from Government, and unless there is greater deliver of Green Party policies, particularly in areas of
responsibility that don’t fall directly under out control, I think we should,” he said.

“People were mad as hell about the wasted opportunities of the boom years and while Fianna Fail were taking the brunt of it kick, we were also a target.”

Cuffe believes that the failure to publish the Civil Unions legislation before the Local and European elections ‘definitely cost
us votes’.